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Dragon Tales with a Twist: A Sarcastic Journey Through Netflix's 'Damsel' (2024) Movie Review

In this new fantasy film, a young woman who thinks she is being married to a perfect prince is thrown into a pit where she discovers she's not going to be a princess after all, but a sacrifice to appease a bloodthirsty dragon. Trying to survive long enough until someone can save her -- she soon realizes that no one is coming and this "damsel" must save herself.

Oh, strap in, folks, because Netflix has done it again with "Damsel," a movie that's sure to keep your dragon-slaying fantasies at bay, featuring the ever-so-charming Millie Bobby Brown, the gritty Ray Winstone, and the illustrious Angela Bassett. Now, if that cast doesn't scream "we've spent a truckload of money," then I don't know what does.

First off, let's talk trailer. Imagine this: a young woman, decked out in what looks like the love child of an Elizabethan gown and a Catholic confession booth, is all smiles, thinking she's about to marry Prince Charming. Plot twist: she's actually the main course for a dragon. Yes, you heard it right. Our princess is about to be dragon chow. So much for marital bliss, eh?

What's fascinating here is the plot. It's like Netflix decided to take every fairy tale stereotype, throw it into a blender, and then add a dash of "you thought wrong" spice. Our damsel, instead of waiting for Sir Saves-a-Lot, decides she's her own knight in shining armor. Talk about DIY rescue missions.

Now, what did I like? Honestly, I was ready to dismiss it as another feminist manifesto wrapped in fairy tale parchment. But lo and behold, it's actually not. Well played, Netflix. And let's talk about the dragon animation. If "Game of Thrones" dragons were the standard, Netflix just said, "Hold my beer." Also, the comeuppances at the end? Chef's kiss. Justice served hotter than dragon fire.

On the downside, the film is like a boys' club that forgot to invite any boys. No strong male characters for the lads to root for, but you'll get over it once the dragon shows up. And as for the plot being as predictable as my grandma's Sunday roast – true, but when it's this entertaining, who cares?

For the trivia buffs: the movie, set in "Generic Fantasy Land," mixes Elizabethan sass with Catholic bling, and the wardrobe department clearly had a field day. And the budget? Somewhere between "How much?!" and "Oh, that's where my subscription fees are going."

Ranking time: I'm giving "Damsel" a solid 7.3 out of 10. It's not perfect, but it's like that one guest at a party who's entertaining enough that you don't mind them overstaying their welcome.

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